Reposting previous thoughts
This is far from new content, it was posted to my previous blog, mostly to help others see, how my journey with Domina Shelle Rivers’ had affected me, as time passed.
Some of it reflected upon my past, most it was very much current when i first posted it, not too long ago, and the majority of it still remains so. There have been some changes that i will probably address, but they are other thoughts and feelings entirely in some ways, Something to for me think about further, before posting another day…
What definitely hasn’t changed though: i am still very deeply devoted to Domina Shelle Rivers.
i can state with certainty, that will never change.
i suspect that the only truly major changes i am likely to see, are those that She decides are changes i need; things that will be good for me. i trust Her to bend me and shape me to Her will, to change me into Her ideal slave.
Anyway, on to that older content; reposting previous thoughts.
The first was a post entitled ‘Never Again’, and was my musing about events of my past, and comparing them to the situation i found myself facing with Domina Shelle…
Never Again
So this piece doesn’t really go anywhere, it’s just more an attempt to write about things, ‘just because’.
i’ve been sat thinking about many different things over the past few days, after having signed a lifetime contract, giving myself over completely, to Princess Shelle.
Over and over, my mind keeps coming back to the words: “Never Again!”
Not about my sweet and sexy Owner, of course, but about all of the negative thoughts and feelings, that i will never again have to endure.
Gone are the worries about trying to find somebody who is both dominant and caring, also gone are the negative emotions about trying to embrace my girlie side. Absent are the worries that i would never find somebody who truly cares about me. No more do i need endure trying to make a connection with somebody, who it turns out just sees subs as ‘one more customer’, or as somebody to fleece until they get bored; or even worse, turns out to be somebody who simply abandons their submissive devotees, when their own destructive habits ruin their life, and cause them to leave the scene without warning; effects on their devotees be damned.
Finally all of that terrible nonsense is in my past.
So i can say it once more, never again!
Since encountering Princess Shelle, i have found myself changing in so many different ways, and not one of them has been negative.
Even though i recognised early on, that She is very different to anybody who i’ve offered submission to before, i didn’t realise just how different.
She truly has astounded me, not just with Her hypnotic skills, but with Her depth and strength of personality.
When i first approached Her, i have to confess, i wasn’t as open as i could have been, but that was because of the scars that i carried; not all scars are visible after all…
Although i’ve listened to many ladies over the years, and even served a single one, for a little over six years at one time, never did i expect to meet somebody like Domina Shelle.
She has shown me, time and again, just how a truly Dominant Lady doesn’t have to be a total diva, who gives no thought to any concerns, other than their own.
She has demonstrated just how loving and caring a Domina can be. Whenever i expressed worries or concerns, She didn’t try to shrug them off, She spent some of Her precious time to communicate properly with me.
When i told Her of my circumstances, She didn’t try to brush me off, instead She worked with me, so that i could still be Hers, and treated me with kindness and respect.
When i confessed my hidden identity and desires to Her, She offered me a lot of comforting, very gentle care… Domina knew the truth about me, long before i started posting about the truth of myself. To the world, i was still hiding behind the ‘sissy’ tag.
Domina knows about my hormone replacement therapy, about my previous diagnosis, and that i had it, long before the medical world changed to the much friendlier gender dysphoria tag that is now in common use. When i was diagnosed, they still used the gender identity disorder label…
When i consider everything, from my first communication with Her, to the way things are now, there’s no doubt in my heart or mind, that i will very happily serve Her for the rest of my life.
Thank You, Princess Shelle, for being such a caring, compassionate, delightful Domina. You truly are wonderful, and i promise that i will serve You, and love You, for the rest of my life.
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If these words are read by any sub, whether you are cis, a trans female or trans male, or even a sissy in hiding, who doesn’t have an owner, do yourself a favour, and approach Her, and find out what you’re missing.
Shortly after posting that, i entered a further period of reflection, and made a post entitled ‘Changes’ which explained further, how Domina had affected me, in other ways…
Changes
Lately, i have found myself pondering on the changes that have happened in my life, since i first encountered the delightfully divine, Domina Shelle Rivers, the lovely Lady who has, quite literally in many ways, taken complete control of so many aspects of my life.
She hasn’t really forced Her way into that position though, i have very willingly surrendered the control to Her. Why wouldn’t i though, when She does a much better job of controlling me, than i ever could?
The other day, i posted a Tweet, thus:
Thinking of ways Domina @ShelleRivers has helped me change:
No longer do i over-eat, smoke, consume alcohol to excess, or suffer from debilitating stress.
Every day i laugh and smile, and appreciate the fullness of life.
i feel happiness and love again.
Thank You, Domina. ??❤?
The best thing is, every single word is nothing but the truth.
Not all of it is because of direct instructions, or implanted suggestions though, but simply because She truly has inspired me to the best i possibly can; my motivation is all Her.
Before i encountered Her, i truly had lost so many aspects of my better self. i had become slovenly and gluttonous, i had started to over-indulge with alcohol, and my daily stress levels probably made me a prime candidate for a fatal heart attack.
Not to mention that my heart had become, if not cold, at least quite chilled, it was very rare for me to even give a cynical grin, let alone a full on smile, and laugher had become an offensive sound.
Then i decided it was time to try to change…
Years ago, i had first seen Princess Shelle on the old Inraptured community site, and i always thought that if i wasn’t sworn to another, She was somebody i could quite probably, be very happy to serve.
Over time, my previous mistress faded away from the scene, due to self-induced, self-destructive problems, and when she quit altogether, i swore i would never serve another; that just led me to my own self destruction though, as the behaviours listed above came into play.
Fortunately, Princess Shelle can rapidly inspire changes to those kind of habits, be it by suggestions, from Her health related files, be it by instructions that She will give in Her ‘wellness’ newsletters that cover all of Her devotees, or be it by simply being so inspiring.
In truth, i know that i am naturally submissive, and i can only be truly happy or content when in the service of somebody of worth; naturally my mind recalled Princess Shelle, and the previous thoughts and feelings She inspired within me.
Never though, when i first approached Her, did i expect how much She would cause me to change, especially not so rapidly.
Within weeks of finding Her, my every thought and feeling became focussed on Her.
In a morning, my first thoughts were of Her, all through the day, She was there, and last thing of an evening, yes, it was all about Her too… Then more shockingly, i found that i wasn’t free even in my dreams. She had literally crept inside my mind, and insinuated Herself into every single aspect of my life.
In the past, i’d encountered Hypno-Domme’s who would make claims that they could do the same, but looking back, i have to laugh, because not one can hold a candle to Her.
For myself, all others are nothing but pretenders to Domina Shelle’s throne.
It started with something simple: i found myself looking to Her for guidance on which of Her files She thought was a ‘best fit’ for me, after i had filled out Her slave questionnaire. There was no harm in playing along, after all, many Domme’s have similar questionnaires, and if filling it out helps grease the wheels in the game of pretend, what can it hurt?
The game of pretend. Right. That’s all it ever is, nobody can change my life…
i’ve been around the block a few times shall we say? 17 years of buying files from various ladies, listening to their wares, but even after having giving exclusive service to one for well over 6 years, i still believed that it was still about that game of pretend for the most part.
But wait…
It turns out that Princess Shelle isn’t actually interested in playing the game of “let’s pretend.”
When She makes claims that She can take you before you realise what is happening, that She is playing for keeps, and that She will take all control, it’s better to take those claims very seriously, because if you are naturally submissive, She really can and She truly will, take all the control She possibly can.
Very soon after first approaching Her, i was feeling urges to let Her know all about my secret desires, and my hidden dreams; i was giving Her absolutely everything that She needed to take complete control of me. It never really occurred to me at the time, that was what was happening, it just felt pleasant to exchange ideas, with somebody who actually seemed to care about the people who had approached and were willing to become regular customers of Hers.
That idea of being a regular customer of Hers…
That lasted all of a few weeks… Then the thoughts of, “oh no, this just isn’t enough,” started to build up, more and more with each passing day.
She really had fiddled with my thoughts and feelings, with each of Her highly erotic files, even during that very short span of time.
i soon went from enjoying the experiences, to wanting more, and then suddenly it hit me, i didn’t just want more, i needed more!
From first approaching Her, as somebody who wanted an erotic thrill or two, with no interest in the deeper aspects of submission for a while, whilst ‘getting to know Her’, to somebody who wanted to surrender all control to Her, took just those few short weeks.
i soon found myself giving into Her, and living with Her ideas of orgasm control.
i was suddenly in a position of having to beg Her each time i wanted a release, such was Her mental hold on me, and far from putting me off, or making me uncomfortable, i found that it aroused me so much more than cumming as i pleased ever did, and that made me want to surrender yet even more control. (my sense of freedom was circling the drain…)
Quite how, or why, She was able to crawl inside my mind so easily, and quite literally bind me to Her will, i still couldn’t tell you, but in all honesty, i’ve given up on asking such questions now. Why does it even matter? i know that i am much happier and far more content than i have been in many years, so questioning it makes no sense.
i went from somebody looking for a few quick thrills from Her files, to Her totally enraptured slave, and i didn’t really see it happening, until She had used Her immeasurable skills, to completely seal my fate.
Going from being a slightly stubborn subby who just wanted a few files to get off to, to begging Her to let me be a collared and contracted slave for Her, had taken only a couple of months, such is the power of my perfect Princess, Domina Shelle.
If you are a sub, who isn’t collared and contracted to somebody else, do yourself a favour, buy Her Beginning Path files, and then approach Her to ask for Her slave questionnaire, so you can tell Her all about yourself, and that way She can do the same for you.
The most you have to lose are those silly delusions of independence…
So i shall conclude this, not so much with anything new, but merely with a few words, thanking you for reading, if you made it this far.
i know that reposting previous thoughts might not be the greatest thing, but it is important to me, so that i can always have something to look back upon, and think of how the journey has been so far, and to provoke thoughts of what the future may bring, as i further surrender to my delightful Domina.
i know that She has many more interesting experiences available to me, in the form of Her delightful Femdom Hypnosis and Erotic Hypnosis mp3’s for me to enjoy, on Her website: Shelle Rivers Erotic Hypnosis
i would suggest that anybody with an interest should check it out, and invite Her in to your mind to play… Only delight awaits, for those who do.
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i think, as much as anything else, i also needed to put this here, because of the thoughts and feelings that have been swirling around in my heart and mind, for the past few weeks, how i seem to be caught in a never ending cycle, of dropping deeper, falling further, and having no desires at all, to ever escape Her influence…
She tells me that i am Hers, and that She will never let me go.
It is far from me to disagree. Thinking of myself as Hers, is nothing less than truly delightful.
To describe myself to others, “She owns me, i am Hers.” ?
When addressing my Domina, “You Own me. i am Yours, nothing less, nothing more. Simply Yours. Forever…” ?
